origin Story
Ten years ago, I lived in San Francisco and was working on a tech startup with my then-live-in boyfriend and co-founder. I was in my early twenties and my love for entrepreneurship was in full bloom. I lived and breathed for our business, I worked nights and weekends to pay the bills, and hustled every moment in between to learn how to convincingly wear each hat - from pitching investors, to working with developers, to designing and implementing ideas. As our business grew, my partner became more erratic and volatile. There were many moments when I felt like I should leave the relationship...but I'd sold my car, given up my dog, consigned my clothes, racked up debt, moved into his sister's basement, I had given my all and truly believed in our vision - it felt impossible to leave.
Four years in, our company was making waves. We were featured in TechCrunch, Entrepreneur, Forbes, BusinessInsider, Fast Company and we were due to be on Bloomberg television. In the days leading up, my partner's behavior was especially strange. He was becoming increasingly paranoid and having bursts of violence. He was obsessive over his need to be seen as the sole creator, and he justified unequal equity between us. The night before Bloomberg, I woke in the night to him in a frenzy, convinced that one of us needed to die, and either I or he needed to be killed. I survived a terrifying night of violence and trauma.
In the end - my partner ended up in care for the preceding month and was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. It was a really heartbreaking time. He wasn't ready to accept his diagnosis, and I could no longer feel safe in his presence. It seemed to me, prioritizing our health and wellbeing - was ultimately more important than making our business a success. I felt like I had failed him because I couldn't love him enough to become well, and failed our business because I didn’t have the wherewithal to turn a blind eye to what was happening under the surface.
I was blinded by an environment that made pushing yourself to the absolute limit seem like the recipe for success. The line between "genius" and “crazy” is a blurry one.
Honestly, I had to sit with that for a long time. I had to work hard to get right with my self-worth, to rebuild my safety net, and to take a good hard look at why I have always had a tendency to put all of my efforts into my male counterparts.
Ten years later. I live in a lovely town in Vermont. I have a sweet old dog, a fantastic husband, and a family. I am finally ready to leap back into entrepreneurship - this time all by myself. I have a second master's degree under my belt and a belief in myself that I can create meaningful work that fuels a life that I am proud of.
Fluff creative is the kind of business I always wanted. It is safe, it is cozy. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, it is reliable, it is kind.
I hope that by telling my story, it will act as a catalyst for you to tell yours. Weave a bit of who you are and why you are here into your website.
